As I surfed the net today, I stumbled across a friends facebook page whom I had not seen and/or herd for quite some time. She was a friend from back home in Florida and someone whom I had grown very close to over the years. She was the definition of what a “party girl” is. Late nights drinking. 5 am stops at Dennys only to continue to the party at an after-hours club in south beach. Her page, once filled with photos of drunken friends, nights out on the town, and images of her hugging a toilet, had now been replaced with pictures of her flashing a dimond ring and hugging what I could only assume to be her fiance.
While I searched the page looking for some traces of where my friend had gone, I started to wonder about compromises and identity. From what I remember of my friend, she was the poster child of the song “Independent Women”. She was charismatic, smart, sexy, and most importantly reminded every man that came her way, that she, as an “independent woman”, needed no man to complete her life.
I now wondered….did she? Had she given up her sense of whom she is and/or was now that she was in a relationship?
It happens unexpectedly. You found someone who you think is the person you have searched for all of your life, but then you start to feel as though you have no time to yourself. Everyone desires to have a healthy relationship with that ideal mate. But why is it that when in a relationship you often find yourself…well loosing yourself?
Skeptics may argue that a relatinsihp is not about YOU, its about US, but when did “I” start becoming “WE”? Are we really destined to loose our self-identity in order to find Love? and most importantly, is there an insurance plan for such a kind of “identity theft?
Questions I ask, but have yet to find answers…