It’s often when we least expect it that we are faced with dilemmas that are beyond our control. How we deal with these issues depends soly on the person, however one thing is certain – the dilemma.
On a otherwise slow night, while reading, I heard sound I had not heard in quite a while. It came unexpected. The origin – my phone’s pre registered memory ring tones. While I shuffled in my mind to put a name to the sound, it came to me. A name, a sound, I had not heard from in a long time. There it was, deeply stored in the corners of my mind’s memory. It came to me – my ex’s phone number.
I let it ring for quite some time before the ringing finally stopped. I stood there looking at it, wondering, admiring and all the while thinking – “what the F$@!??” It dawned on me then that while most of my relationships had ended in a good note, this was the only one that had not. I picked up the phone and tried to dial back, but quickly hung up. I dont know why I did or what I would have said if I had called. Strange because it is often rare that I find myself in this situation. But here I was, unwilling to dial a number. Unwilling to have a conversation. Unwilling to come to terms with someone.
Not yet, too soon.