Its hard sometimes to swallow. My family is falling apart. What was once the one thing that kept us all together, seems like its now all deterating and there is not way to stop it.
I think about it more and more as times goes by and especially during the holiday season. Its the one time of year, that over the years, I am beginning to regret more and more.
Call me selfish, but it seems that every year I spend about $700 bucks to fly home, rent a car, etc etc. But I wonder…”damn..how come no one has ever come to visit me?”. Now i know this may seem selfish, but I cant seem to shake the feeling. Why is it always me who goes to visit? Isnt my life just as important? And I dont mean for the holidays….anytime of year would do. Let me show you my new life here in the city.
When posed with the question as to why my they dont come visit me, my family always seems to have the same answer. “Si pero, es mas facil para ti venir aqui”. NO! , fuck that..its not easier for me to come down there. I still have to take the time off work, get my ass on a plane, rent a car, and go house to house visiting everybody. Cause god forbid you dont spend at least 23 hours of the day with the family!!
Aside from the cost and selfish feeling, I now have to hear complaining of how one part of the family is better than the other(divorced family). Not to mention you have to spend time in one house and then go to the next. Also, my family makes me feel guilty if I spend 1 eve. with one parent, one with the other…all a viscous cycle that I really did not mind while I was in college but…now, I just feel distant, and I resent the fact NO ONE EVER COMES TO VISIT ME…my Dad barely pays attention because he is always working, my Mom complains about why I am always on my father’s side, and my brother complains because I dont spend enough time with him while I am down there. Sorry…smoking week 22hours of the day is just not my thing anymore….
My bad I had to vent…Anyways I digress…
Home for the holidays….can’t wait.
Bitter. Lol!
haha, so dare I ask what happened? write a blog mister. was it exactly how you predicted?
As for my advice senor, in the future you will look back and realize that what you once viewed as annoying, irritating, etc.etc. will become a thing of the past. I understand where you’re coming from but here I am in Korea. Spending over 2,000 USD to see my family for ONE WEEK. And I have no expectations, PERIOD. Well I do lie, I have just one. They be ALIVE. nothing else matters, yes they will bitch, yes they will lay the guilt trip, yes they will make smart remarks, yes they will disapprove of my life choices. But I will just sit and smile and hold them tight. Because the next time I come back to USA (undetermined but not anytime soon) might be to see them in a casket.
Later today/tomorrow/next week/month/year is not GUARANTEED. After losing my father/brother, life has changed and I choose to not take LIFE for granted and FAMILY is family man, they are fucked for doing what they do but at the end of the day SON TU SANGRE! so u can’t change the older generation man, just let them be and next time they do something that pisses you off. just hug them and say, I am going to miss you when you’re gone (HAHA, ok dont say that but i felt like my post was getting too serious-no?)
See you in NYC in less than one week papo!
I feel for you. I know you feel your family is taking you for granted and that theres drama included in the mix but count your blessings that you still have your parents around.
You don’t know what you have until you lose it. Despite their humanly flaws, try to overlook it and just accept them for who they are (it is what it is). They are older folks who are already set in their ways. I’m sure they both deeply love you and want the best for their son.
Try and make the most of your visit in Miami.
Happy belated Christmas, Happy New Year and Happy Three Kings Day!!!!!
Abrazos,
Eddie
p.s. Oye, I sent you an email about the La Lupe play starring the puerto rican actress Lauren Velez.