It is 1:19 a.m. and I cant sleep. I look at my night table see my reading book, a glass of water, a candle about to die. My dog on my right sleeps soundly. I envy him – No worries. No problems. No expectations.
I got to wondering about expectations lately. Webster defines expectations as “a belief about (or mental picture of) the future” but we cant predict the futre, so what is the point of having these so called expectations? But is it something that we cant help to have? Are we programmed to have expectations? …..
When you go to an upscale restaurant, you “expect” to get great service, great food, and a great overall experience. You expect the food to be delicious and your waiter to be the best in town. What happens when this is not the case? Feelings of anger, disappointment, and/or sadness consume you. Without choice you give in to these feelings because of your expectations. Do these feelings also apply to personal relationships?
Have you ever met someone, friend or lover, and without you knowing it have created in your mind some kind of expectation from them? You expect them to be nice. To be honest. To be that one “perfect” person you have always envision. Now what happens when they dont live up to those expectations? Do you cast them out? Do you accept them for who they are? Or do you simply let down your expectation?
As time pases I have learned to not hold any expectations from things, places, and/or people. However, a recent experience has shown me that sometimes my will is not as strong. I created an expectation for someone that I didnt really want to, but had no idea it was there. It was revealed to me only after the person did something i never expected. I was not mad because it was partly my fault for having the expectation to begin with. But i didnt want to have it.
I often wonder if these so called “expectations” are subcautious. Can you have expectations even though you dont want them?
This seems to fit for me, seeing as someone just left me a note telling me my expectations are too high (thought the posting was a joke) but it got me thinking anyway – the truth is, we all have expectations either consciously or sub-consciously, we can’t help it, we are programmed that way.
Each time we are let down we feel as if we are wrong for expecting too much, but surely if we never reach for the stars we’re going to by blinded by the light when we are eventually forced to look for them?
which is worse? having your expectations not met, or not meeting the expectations of another?