You check the messages again. You notice that the two little checkmarks remain gray. You ask yourself why and you make an excuse in your head as to why. You know you are wrong. Or worse, you are are right. What was once blue, now no longer.
You thought that maybe this time it would be different. That the things that were said meant more. You wanted to believe it. You did. And now you are here again, in the same predicament. You try to explain it. To ration it in your mind, but you know the answer. You know that maybe deep down, taking the leap was never what you wanted to do. That maybe you should have listened to your intuition. After all, is it not there for a reason?
You ask yourself…”what did I learn?”….silence creeps and you begin to wonder that maybe there was nothing to learn. That the experience is just another step in the direction of the one thing you don’t want to become…jaded
You remain optimistic and recite to yourself….
“If you keep reaching out, then I’ll keep coming back. And if you’re gone for good. Then I’m okay with that….and I am finding out, that there’s just no other way, that I’m still dancing at the end of the day”
Two blue checkmarks emerge
😢🤗